“Living in tension” I feel is a phrase that is spoken often in church. I’ve heard it many times in 27 years, but its meaning to me is changing.
I do understand that living as a Christian doesn’t mean life will be perfect, but I’ve viewed “trials” as interruptions in my life. I’d think “ok, if I can just make it through this, then on the other side, my plans will resume and everything will be fine.” But suffering is not an interruption, it’s a part of God’s plan. It’s a chance for us to choose to grow, lean in, and embrace it so that God can transform and mature us. It’s a chance for us to be cultivated into a more powerful tool to be used in God’s kingdom. How we choose to act when we find ourselves in tension or our plans are being interrupted is a direct display of our faith.
“God has a corresponding joy for every trial we find ourselves in, this joy that we have – the world did not give it to us and the world can not take it away – God has a joy that defies our trials.”
Our inner desires are constantly at this tug of war with each other. Some of our desires are good, while others are not so good. In Galatians 5:25, Paul writes “since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the spirit.”
I’m realizing that the solution to my waring desires is not my own will power, but spirit power. There’s nothing wrong with will power. It’s good, but we as followers of Jesus have access to a power that is beyond us that often we don’t take advantage of. We have Holy Spirit power within us and we can ask for help in overcoming our flesh, to fight our temptations and win, and walk in the Spirit.
From now on, instead of trying to white-knuckle will power my own way through tensions, temptations, and the like, I think I’d rather choose to keep in step with and be led by the Spirit. I’ve come to a place where I can reflect on my life and thank God for every difficulty time I have walked through and the place He’s brought me to now. I see how losing my best friend to suicide ended up saving lives of teens, since I am now able to speak out about how the tragedy of suicide impacted my life. God has used pain that I’ve walked through time and time again to bring glory to His kingdom.
The conundrum that I find myself in now is how could I not want more? Selfishly I want to pray for that “hedge of protection” but shouldn’t my deeper desire be for God’s will to be done. What if I only pray for safety and comfort, but there’s a whole bunch of glorifying God’s kingdom waiting for me outside of that? Wouldn’t it be better to be in the storm with God then on the boat without Him?
OOOOOOO this is so so good!! Preach it! Difficult situations brings us to the end of ourselves, which causes more dependency on God, which causes more intimacy with Him. and thats what its all about at the end of the day! (:
Hey thanks Cami!!!
“What if I only pray for safety and comfort, but there’s a whole bunch of glorifying God’s kingdom waiting for me outside of that?” I think about this all the time, what a good question! Thanks for sharing your heart, this was awesome Bre!